A thirtieth birthday can be an opportunity to really take stock of the life you have had so far. Up to this point people who have been single or even in a long term relationship feel this is ok, but once they are headed toward thirty something, it changes, 'I'm not really all that young anymore and I should have done...'
For a person who has marriage, children or a very successful career they can sail through it, knowing they have achieved some of the life goals they wanted, but for someone who is unmarried or even without a partner, has no children and does not feel they are in their dream job, this can be a really difficult time.
Thirty is an age when if you are in the second category you start to assume there is something wrong with some or all of the life decisions you have made or even something wrong with you personally. As a thirty year old you expect that you should have done something to prove yourself as a real adult like owning your own home, car, having children or being married and if you're still at home wondering why things haven't turned out as you planned, then write a list.
This list should be realistic goal for the next two years, think about your dreams and how you can make them happen. For example if you haven't learnt to drive, then start saving a little each month and get your provisional, even if you know you cannot afford a car at this stage, do something towards the goal. Get your licence sorted and start learning the highway-code and at least make a start.
If you have been unsuccessful in the romance field then don't spend hours thinking about why this happened, just know that there are two key factors to starting a successful relationship and they are luck and timing. Unfortunately neither can be forced, you need to firstly be lucky enough to find someone compatible to you, which is complicated enough. Then you both have to have switched from the idea of loving someone to really wanting to make a relationship work, which again is something no-one can control.
But here's where there is some hope, as a nearly or just after thirty year old, you can seriously start looking for that special someone because for some strange reason the biological clock goes into gear and people want to settle down, they've simply had enough fun to realise it's not all that and are ready to really try for something more real.
Maybe hosting a party and inviting lots of people will help you mingle with people that are roughly the same age and looking for love. Try joining a gym, this will also help you get fit and exercise and you could meet someone there although it will give you a great confidence boost as well. Ask a friend to help you with clothes or hair if you feel this can make you less appealing as a partner. Join an on line dating agency or website and start actively looking for someone special. Just don't waste anyone's time in your search for love and be ruthless, if you do find someone but after three dates there's no real spark then just tell them you want to be friends because when it's the real thing it'll sweep you away and you just know that person is someone it will work with.
If you are having problems with your career and need to refocus your efforts, then again think about what aspects of the work you have experience in have you so far enjoyed. Think about the careers that implement these aspects and work out how you can make yourself attractive to this field of work or sector. Do you need more experience or training, if so when and how can this be done? Is there anyone you already know that can help you in this matter? if so call in a favour and use the resources around you.
Turning thirty doesn't have to feel like the beginning of a slow decline into being old, although to many it can but this is just another chance for you to stop and take stock and change how your life is going. Stop thinking about what you want and start getting what you want - to make the dreams you have happen.
Susan is a relationship expert who guides couples and singles in the dating world. Susan works for http://www.lovestruck.com who let you search and meet singles who live in your city. If you live in the UK then why not try http://www.lovestruck.com/london/ for London Speed Dating and meet professionals, for a date at lunchtime or after work!
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